Saving the Brains
by rowlingisqueen
Summary: Hermione is struggling at home and school. Professor McGonagall sets out to help her over come her problems, with a bit of help from Professor Snape. Depression, self-harm, eating disorders, child abuse. Rated M for adult content. Please read. Mentor kind of thing for McGonagall and Snape to Hermione. Possibly triggering. Kind of AU and slightly OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note- please read**

This is my first ever fanfic so,I'm still getting the hang of things, as soon as I get even one comment saying that I should continue I will write the next chapter. Please comment even if it is to say that you hate it. I accept all comments, of course unless they are profane. Ask me questions to if you would like. Xoxo I hope you like it. Any tips as well would be appreciated!I don't own anything but my story.

/

The tightness in her throat, threatening to take over was familiar by now. Her legs ached from running so fast and hard. The voice of her mother rang through her ears, "COWARD COWARD COWARD". She sank down onto the cold wet floor of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom unintentionally letting out a small gasp as the chill swept through her body. "It's ok, you're at Hogwarts, you will be fine" she whispered in a desperate attempt to compose herself before her first lesson of the day, transfiguration with the Slytherins. "You know, you could always just kill yourself, " Moaning Myrtle suggested, "You can bring that Potter boy back here as well." Always after Harry. Checking her watch, She realized that she had less than two minutes to get to transfiguration, she would never make it in time. "Might as well just stay here then." She muttered.

/

"Minerva dear, have something more than tea." She was only faintly aware that her colleague has spoken at all, for she had far more pressing matters on her brain. She had just seen my prize student run out of the hall, clearly distraught, after receiving an owl. Lately though, this was not a rare occurrence. She thought back to the prior weeks and noticed that she had been getting many more than usual, though none had evoked a response this strong." She merely nodded at the headmaster as he again unsuccessfully tried to tempt her with a biscuit. Without a word she hastily stood up and strode out of the Great Hall. She however, was most concerned not with Hermione's frequent owls, but with her dropping performance in all of her classes. Many teaches had informed her of Hermione's lackluster participation. Even professor Snape became concerned after she blew up two potions in a single class period. She had also been habitually absent at meals. Thoughts whirring around in her head she nearly collided with some exhausted looking first years running to the Hall to grab something before class, which started in five minutes. She didn't have time to go searching for Hermione now, and just prayed that she would show up for class. When she did not arrive, McGonagall started to become more anxious with each passing minute. She had set her third years the task of turning a teapot into a tortoise. Her thoughts were so occupied that she dismissed the class to break without homework. As soon as the last student had left, she set herself to the task of finding Hermione.

/

"I really ought to try to go to History of Magic with Binns", she thought " Or. Could just stay here and sulk." She decided on the latter. She finally took out the letter that she had received this morning. She hadn't even been able to read it properly because it was quite difficult for her to get past even the first few lines.

_Hermione,  
Your recent behavior has been appalling and cowardly. You are just like your grandmother, a coward. If you can't get over your petty problems both your father and I see it best that you come home over the holidays and not return to your school. We've tried our best, but we obviously haven't made much progress. I suggest that you pull yourself together, or you can expect more of you-know-what. Don't you dare go and squeal like a coward. We expect to see you in December, and hope that you've been able to sort yourself out by then.  
Mom_  
She read it over and over. Mentioning her grandmother was a new twist to these letters, but other than that it was what she always read. Her grandmother, had committed suicide two years earlier, a very cowardly act according to her mother. Mrs. Granger did not believe in mental illness like depression or eating disorders. To her self harm was an act of attention seeking. Hermione loathed her mother because of this. She was so angry. Soon there were hot tears flowing freely down her face. As hatred overtook her, she punched the mirror over the sinks and reached down for a shard of glass. Without thinking she immediately brought the jagged edge to her wrist, already littered with scars and recent marks. She pressed it down and dragged it slowly at first, watching the blood drip. Blood meant that she'd done it right. She did it again and again until she had five parallel slits each wider that the last. She then sunk back down in defeat. Her body still wracked with sobs, she didn't had the distinct clack of heels as her professor entered the lavatory. Almost instinctively Minerva lowered herself onto the floor next to the upset child and put a protective arm over her shoulder, grabbing away the broken shard of mirror. Hermione, startled, jumped up only to see it was her favorite professor, she wouldn't have wanted anybody else to see her in such a state. "Look at me, dear" Minerva said lifting the chin of Hermione, " Would you care to tell me what is the matter?" Hermione just shook her head. "Or perhaps you would rather tell me why you were not in my class this morning and why you are not in History of Magic now." She replied without missing a beat. Hermione simply sighed and handed over the letter. Minerva's mouth grew wider with shock at every sentence that she read.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note- Please Read**

Thank you all for the positive feedback, especially to my one reviewer! Here, as promised is a second chapter, just know that I won't be getting things up as frequently as this. Again please comment for more chapters, I on,y need one to keep writing. Thank you guys, and enjoy!

/

"Hermione, dear get up, let's go to my office," prompted Professor McGonagall, lifting the girl up by the shoulders. She wondered why Hermione would choose such a place to hide, before she remembered that this was an ideal place, considering its isolation. While the damp floors and periodic wails may be a drawback, it was a wonderful place to find a decent amount of solitude. Still clutching Hermione's letter to her chest Minerva led the girl out of the bathroom and to the comfort of her office. They were lucky to meet only Peeves on their way. Minerva was fortunate to have had this period free, and after that were only her first years. Minerva guided Hermione through the rows of desks in the transfiguration classroom to the very back, where her office was.

"Sit down," commanded Minerva, gesturing to a plush armchair in front of her own mahogany desk. Hermione sat down gingerly, until Minerva took a seat herself.

"Have a biscuit," Minerva more or less suggested thrusting the tartan tin at her, Hermione taken aback reached out an unsure hand only to be polite. She nibbled on a ginger newt while Minerva gathered her thoughts. The crackling fire was the only sound other than that of McGonagall raping her fingers on her desk. Their uncomfortable silence was broken by a loud crash from the other room, followed by a great deal of cackling. Neither of them bothered to acknowledge the work of what they both correctly assumed was Peeves. Minerva took this break in silence to awkwardly begin.

"Ms. Granger, please tell me," Minerva started getting straight to the point, "if the content of this letter is consistent with that of previously received letters." Hermione nodded.

"Tell me about your grandmother,"

"She killed herself two years ago,"

"And your mother calls this act cowardly?" Another nod." She was brave for too long," concluded Minerva.

"She calls me a coward for," Hermione paused and simply gestured at her wrist. Minerva had forgotten about that. She silently reached into her desk draw and drew out a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and a roll of bandages. She cleaned Hermione's wounds without protest and wrapped them.

"What do you feel when you cut, what does it bring you?" she queried carlingly.

"It feels good I guess, like now I can feel something other than what I had been feeling before, you know". It was Minerva's turn to nod.

" Are there certain emotions that cause you to turn to this?"

"Well, just now I'd been angry, but I've done it when I've felt," Hermione paused, "I'm not really sure what emotion it is, but for periods of time, like weeks, I just feel numb. Like I can't feel anything else, but cutting." She looked up questioningly at her professor.

" I understand you," she replied. Knowing that feeling all too well.

"Professor, my mother, she doesn't understand what I'm dealing with. She doesn't get why I can't bring myself to leave my bedroom for days at a time. She has no idea what it's like to have to do this," blurted out Hermione, referring to the cuts.

"Yes, dear, there are people like that, blissfully ignorant if you ask me. Until they have had an experience they don't know what it is like." Minerva whispered, "Now, I need to ask you a very serious question, have you ever felt unsafe in your home with your parents?" Hermione gasped, but nodded.

" When I was younger, like five or six, they would disappear for days at a time, gambling and drinking. They would forget to leave me food, so when I went to school I would wait for the other kids to leave before I went into the trash cans to salvage a mushy banana or a half eaten corned beef sandwich. When they came home, they asked me what I had eaten, knowing fully well that they hadn't left me anything. I gave them the honest answer, and before I knew what had happened I was on the floor, the backs of my thighs stinging. They would tell me that I should have known better than to disgrace the name of Granger. Another time when I was about nine they came home really drunk and just started kicking things, evoking no response from the kitchen table they found me in the hall closet and beat me with beer bottles. I fell unconscious for the night," she paused to take a breath, " When I got my Hogwarts letter, things got even worse. They refused to let me see my friends, because they were afraid that my secret would get out. Three days before term, they dropped me off in London and left me with three pounds. I had been babysitting though, and doing odd jobs so I have over 175 pounds with me, enough for all I needed. I walked to King's Cross and then I was here. That summer though, after my first year started the worst attacks. I would wake up to them coming home at four in the morning and then having a go at me, every inch of me hurt, and every inch of me wanted to die." At this she stopped and looked up at her professor. This child, so broken down needed someone, someone to let her know that she was ok, that everything would be ok.

"Come with me," said Minerva, standing and bringing the girl to a door at the back of her office, "these are my private quarters. I must go teach a class, but after that is lunch when we can talk some more. You can stay in here." The room that they were standing in was decorated maroon and gold. There was a squashy couch in the middle of the room in front of a large fireplace. They could hear a flurry of movement in the classroom through the open door. Minerva left through the door, pulling it closed tightly behind her. She swept past her desk, and the open tin of ginger newts into her classroom, which was full of first years.

/

Hermione was still in shock. She couldn't believe what she had just revealed to her favorite professor. If her parents ever found out. Hermione spent the time while Minerva was teaching replaying what had just transpired over and over again in her head. She finally concluded that she was in big trouble when her parents found out. She could hear Minerva lecturing a first year on the fact that he was supposed to be turning his needle into a matchstick, not his best friend's arm.

/

After her class, Minerva returned to find a distraught Hermione sitting on the couch after having searched everywhere for a way to hurt herself. Minerva just did the most natural thing for her, she sat down next to Hermione and pulled her into her warm embrace, and Hermione just leaned into her. They stayed like that for several minutes, until her professor pulled her away and held her at an arm's length.

"We need to talk," Minerva decided, and Hermione nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note- Please Read**

Thank you all, so much for the reviews and follows and favorites. You guys are really cool. I didn't think that I would get any response, but thank you. I really would love advice too, if any of you have it. Thank you! Also, to the reviewer who mentioned the currency, thanks! I didn't think of that originally, so I went back and changed it!

/

"They said, that they'd kill me if I told anyone," whispered Hermione. Minerva reassured her that if anyone layed a finger on her little lion that person would be cursed into oblivion. Together, they made plans to make certain that she wouldn't be returing home. They would be seeing the headmaster after classes.

"I think it best, that you try to attend lunch, and your afternoon classes," suggested Minerva,"you only have Charms, Divination, and Care of Magical Creatures, am I correct?" A nod confirmed her statement. Together they went to the Great Hall, Hermione taking her place at the Griffindor table and Minerva beside Dumbledore.

"I need to speak with you after classes," whispered Minerva, leaning over into Dumbldore's beard.

"Very well then, I shall see you after the day's classes have concluded," he replied casually. Minerva wasn't very hungry for much of anything, but after much promoting from her boss ("you didn't even touch breakfast") she obediently took a small portion of rice, broccoli, and chicken. She saw that down at the Griffindor table her little lion was having the same problem. It seemed that she was only pushing around the food on her plate. Deciding that that behavior was unacceptable, Minerva gathered herself up from the Head Table and marched down to the golden trio.

" You're supposed to eat it, not play with it," threatened Minerva from behind Hermione. Hermione jumped, and caused her fork to clatter to the floor, where it was immediately taken into the floor and a new one magicked on to the table. Hermione took several tentative bites until Minerva was satisfied and she retreated to her classroom to prepare for her afternoon classes.

" Gosh, what's with her, she's never done that before," observed a shocked Ron. Eager to change the subject, Hermione suggested that they head off to Charms class.

/

The topic of Hermione's dissapearence at breakfast came up more than once, but she always steered it to another direction. Hermione was able to successfully perform her cheering charm. So well, in fact that Ron had to leave the room for the remainder of class. They met him on their way to Divination.

"I'm am not looking forward to sitting in a hot smelly room for an hour and a half. Why do we even need double Divination," mumbled Harry as they wound their way up to the classroom.

" Don't turn your back! Fight!" Yelled Sir Cadagon charging after them. Ron simply stipuck out his tongue at the over confident knight.

"Honestly, I think that divination is just a load of dragon dung, I mean the last true seer, Cassandra Trelawney, didn't even have many of her prediction come true, who would beleive this fraud," snorted Hermione.

"What gotten into you, you would never insult a teacher," said Ron, awestruck.

"Well it's true," concluded Hermione as they accended the ladder to the classroom.

"Today, we will be continuing palm reading. You dear," Professor Trelawney rasped indicating to Hermione, " the thing that you dread after classes today will be most horrible, most horrible indeed." Hermione flinched inwardly, but showed nothing.

"Who says that I'm dreading anything," she questioned, gaining glares from Lavender and Pavarti.

"We will soon see my dear," replied Trelawney vaguely. The period passed slowly and by the end they were almost glad to have Care of Magical creature next, at least that way they could have some fresh air. Still dreading the conversation to come after her last class Hermione put on a brave face and led the trio down to Hagrid's cabin.

"I got a real treat fer yer terday," Hagrid announced as they approached. They all groaned inwardly. Usually a treat meant that atleast one person would be going to the hospital wing before class was over, Hermione secretly hoped tha it would be her, only to get out of the looming conversation. Harry looked over at her, not trying at all to mask his apprehension.

"A unicorn? A bloody unicorn, Hagrid, you've got to be joking," cried Ron over the cooing girls as he peaked around the cabin. Standing there was a silvery gold horse like creature with a miniature horn protruding from the top of its head, it pawed the ground anxiously.

"I'm actually quite pleased," mused Hermione, "I've read about them, this one must be somewhat young, considering that it's still got hints of gold and a tiny horn. It's not shying away from the boys either. "

"Right you are Hermione, take five points for Griffindor for your excellent observation, he's about three, won't be full grown for another four years," concluded Hagrid. After one of the best Care of Magical Creatures lesson they'd ever had the trio headed back up to the castle, and Hermione felt as if her stomach had turned to lead.

" I've got to go see Proffessor McGonagall -er about the work I missed this morning," mumbled Hermione quickly breaking off from her friends and almost running to Minerva's office.

"I wonder what's up with her, first she runs out on breakfast and then skives off her morning classes," mused Ron.

"I dunno, but whatever it is best to let McGonagall handle it, she's a girl you know," replied Harry.

"Oh yeah," said Ron stupidly.

/

Hermione felt as if she was going to be sick, perhaps if the feigned an illness she could go to the hospital wing instead. She however decided against it considering the fact that she would be there for a week, knowing Madam Pomfrey. She was so deep in thought that she nearly ran headfirst into her potions professor.

"Watch where you're going or I might take points," threatened Severus, " where are you going anyways in such a hurry?" Hermione mumbled something about Professor McGonagall.

"Speak up I can't hear you," yelled Severus.

"I'm going to see Professor McGonagall," repeated Hermione, now very flustered.

"Very well then, go on your way, but if I catch you lurking about again I will not think twice about taking points," he sneered. _(People will think that your up to something)_

"Yes, sir," Hermione muttered before scuttling away towards Minerva office.

/

"There you are dear! I was beginning to wonder if you were going to skip this as well," Minerva said winking. Hermione gladly took this hint of joking as it helped her calm down a bit. Minerva led her out of the classroom and to the large stone gargoyle that stood guard to what Hermione knew to be the Headmaster's office.

"Lemon drops," stated Minerva prompting the large stone figure to reveal a spiral staircase. They climbed for what seemed like ages, though Hermione knew it was only several seconds, before they reached a majestic set of oak doors, higher than three Hermiones standing on one another.

"Oh yes, come in please," called Albus Dumbledor before they had even announced their presence.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note- Please Read  
Thank you guys for all of your support, it is amazing! I had a lot of difficulty writing this chapter as, I was suffering from a terrible case of writer's block. All of you who have commented, I can seriously not thank you enough. Really. I love you all!

Minerva had to push Hermione through the door to Albus' office because as soon as she heard his voice she froze. So many things were going through her mind she felt as if she were going to be sick.  
"He's not going to believe you, you silly little girl,"  
"There's no use in telling him you worthless freak,"  
"You're a coward for doing this, you know,"  
Hermione could hear her parents' taunts as clear as if they were right next to her, hissing directly into her ear. It seemed so real, that she needed to check that they were indeed absent from the warm room into which they had just entered.  
"-newt, a ginger newt," offered Albus indicating to an open tin on his desk, Hermione only picked up on the last part of his sentence. Hermione shook her head, fully aware of the fact that if she opened her mouth she would be sick. He gestured for her to sit, so she did. Glad that she was not responsible, at the time being for forming her own ideas, like sitting down. She was faintly aware that there was conversation going on around, about her. However, she did not have the ability or desire to focus on what they were discussing. She had to be spoken to several times before any response was gained. When she wanted to acknowledge them however, she found that she lost the ability to properly form words, she could only move her mouth. It took her several minutes to form the simple word 'yes'.  
"Yes, Professor," she meekly said breaking the silence.  
"As difficult as it may be for you, I need to hear what you have to say on this matter, I need to know exactly what has happened, please tell me, " Albus requested in the softest voice that he could manage. Sensing Hermione's apprehension, Minerva put a calming hand on her shoulder in reassurance.  
Taking a deep breath Hermione started, " The first memory I have is from when I was five or six, and my parents went on holiday to Las Vegas, Nevada, in the US. They left me home alone for a week and a half with no food or anything. I salvaged the garbage at school for food, when they came home they beat me for disgracing the family name by dumpster diving. Another time my father came home really drunk and he was angry. I must have been about eight, he said that having a kid ruined his life, and that he was tired of taking care of me. He took me to the top of the stairs and told me to jump. I was an obedient child, so I did. As I felt myself falling though, I decided that I didn't like it. That was the first time I can remember my magic. I landed upright on my feet at the bottom of the stairs. I was in trouble though, I knew it. He came charging down so fast I didn't know what had even hit me. I woke up the next morning with a black eye and a broken nose," she paused to take a breath, finding it easier to talk now that she had started, " that was the night that my mom came home after gambling and losing a fortune and decided that I was her bad luck charm. I had to sleep outside that night, it was December. After I got my letter though, things got even worse. They refused to let me out of the house, for fear that my secret would be found out by the neighbors, and that when it got really bad, my father, he started touching me and I didn't like it so I tried to fight back, but I wasn't strong he got a little more daring after a couple of drinks and he broke into my room and forced his hot sweaty body on mine, it just hurt so bad. I wanted to die. I felt to dirty. I feel so guilty." At this she stopped and broke down in tears. Minerva gathered her info a hug.  
"Very well then, it seems to be that it would be best that you do not return home to your mother and father. I will also see to it that they are tried for child abuse and neglect by the Wizengamot," he paused seeing Hermione's shocked faced, "they would not receive more than they deserve though. And now, the question of your guardianship. Seeing as your parents no longer have custody, it would be natural for your head of house to take temporary guardianship, in this case it would be Professor McGonagall. Do you have any objections, or suggestions as to where you would go permanently?" Hermione didn't respond at first, because she was wracking her brain for any relative that could take her in. Thinking of none she shook her head.  
"Very well then, Minerva, your signature is required here," he indicated to a dotted line, "initial here," pointing again. This process went on for several minutes and Minerva just did as she was told autographing the various places on the parchment. It was nearly supper time when the pair left the Headmaster's office.  
"Would it be an issue if I didn't go to dinner, I'm not too keen on seeing everybody right now," asked Hermione uncertainly looking up at her new guardian.  
"You may eat in my personal quarters with me if you would like. I understand that you have been through a great deal today, and I can only be thankful that tomorrow is Saturday," replied Minerva.  
"I would like that very much, thank you," replied Hermione graciously.

Quickly, the two walked the familiar path to Minerva's private quarters. Following Minerva's lead, Hermione cautiously lowered herself into a chair at a dining room table.  
"It's not going to bite you for goodness sakes," said Minerva, chuckling, then looking off into the space to the left of the table she called out, "Dobby." Before Hermione knew what had happened a house elf was standing next to her, poised to serve them.  
"Please bring us a sampling of the dishes in the Hall tonight," ordered Minerva.  
"Of course Master, Dobby will do that," he replied nervously. No sooner had he disappeared with a crack was food materializing on their table. In front of them sat a large bowl of steaming mashed potatoes, a dish of green beans, and a platter of roast ham. A boat of gravy followed with plates, silver wear, and glasses filled with water.  
"Might as well start," prompted Minerva, serving herself a portion of everything. Hermione took a small bit of all of the food in front of her and began to intently cut her ham into smaller and smaller pieces. She was concentrating so hard, that she didn't even notice Minerva watching her over her goblet.  
"Are you planning on eating, or making food small enough for the spiders to consume?" questioned Minerva. With this Hermione finally began to take bites of her meal. For having taken such small portions, it took her quite a long time to finish.  
"We need to discuss your eating, it's unhealthy dear," ventured Minerva breaking the awkward silence.  
"One time, when I was going through the rubbish bin at school, the most popular girl found me and called me a fat pig and then all of the other popular girls called me that, I've just never been able to let that go. And then I always thought that I I were skinnier, maybe my father would you know- leave me alone," whispered Hermione.  
"I'm so sorry dear, come here," Minerva gathered her into a hug. Upon her release Hermione finished her supper.  
"I think it may be best if you stay here tonight, given all that you have been through today," suggested Minerva leading Hermione to small bedroom off of the dining room, "You can sleep in the guest room." Hermione gratefully sank down onto the bed. Minerva transfigured her robes into a set of pajamas, and the the same for Hermione.  
"Thank you Professor, for everything," gushed Hermione.  
"You are most welcome my dear, sleep well," she replied extinguishing the light with a flick of her wand. She made her way back to her living room and had just settled down on her couch, when a knock interrupted the silence. She rose from her spot and went over to open the door. She swung it open to find none other than Severus Snape.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note- Please Read**

I know tha the way I describe mental health professionals in this chapter may not be the kindest, and I apologize for that. However it is from experience that draw these descriptions. Thank you all for your reviews and follows and favorites. I really does mean quite a lot to me. I really cannot thank you guys enough. You are all amazing, please never forget that.

/

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Severus?" inquired Minerva, then seeing the distressed look on his face she further enquired, "what is the matter?" At this he swiftly entered her living room and sat down in the chair opposite her couch.

"Ms. Granger, wasn't present in my class this morning, I became concerned when she wasn't at lunch either. Then I heard from Dumbledore, just now, about her situation, and I just wanted to make sure she was ok, is there any way that I can help," announced Snape, in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

"There actually may be a way for you to help her, you see, she hurts herself, to deal with everything, and I don't know what to do. I know however, that you have," she paused sensing his uncomfortable shift, "experience, in dealing with this, would you mind, just talking to her or something. I can not stand not being able to help her with it, you know."

"I'm not certain that she would be all that forthcoming with me, but I can try my best, no one should have to suffer like that," he replied, promoting a sight of relief from Minerva.

"Oh, thank you, I just felt so helpless, not being able to comfort or help her. I was so worried about saying the wrong thing, that I haven't mentioned it at all," she admitted.

"I will come back tomorrow morning to talk with her," he concluded, rising and strutting out, "Goodnight, Minerva."

"Goodnight," she called after him, so exhausted from the days events, she retreated to her bedroom and was asleep within minutes.

/

She was awoken several hours later, by a soft crying coming from her guest room. It took her several moments to figure out what was happening. She leaped out of bed though, when she remembered exactly who was staying in her guest room at the moment. She flung open the door to find Hermione sitting on the floor with her knees to her forehead, her body shaking with sobs. Now, as an instinct Minerva knelt down next the the distraught girl and held her close.

"I'm sorry to have woken you, I'll be fine in a moment," Hermione whispered when she felt Minerva settle down by her.

"It's no don't need to be fine, you can cry, did you have a nightmare?" Minerva cooed softly.

"My parents, they were here at Hogwarts, and they took me away, they took me back home. I couldn't do anything about it,"she said gasping.

"Don't be afraid, child, they can not come here. You are safe here. I will never let anyone take you away, never," Minerva reassured her, pulling her even closer and rocking her back and forth, rubbing small circles on her back to calm her. After her breathing had evened, Minerva gently helped her back into bed, tucking her in and softly kissing her forehead.

"I'm sorry for waking you," Hermione apologized weakly.

"It was not a problem dear, goodnight," replied Minerva. After Hermione had replied with her own goodnight, Minerva returned to her own bedroom. Sleep, however evaded her for the rest of the night. Her mind couldn't seem to slow down. She simply laid in her bed for hours waiting for morning. Occasionally she went to Hermione's door, just to listen and check in. Finding everything in order she would return to her bed for more sleepless rest. She finally fell asleep around five in the morning and took a well deserved nap. The time to wake up came much to soon. It was nearly nine when the two woke up. Hermione had had a similar sleepless night. They were both partly asleep during breakfast.

"I talked to Professor Snape last night, after you went to bed," started Minerva, "he's coming over after breakfast this morning to talk to you, he can help you with your cutting." Hermione looked down at the word 'cutting'. It had always been a taboo subject around her parents and peers. A behavior she instinctively knew to keep locked away and hidden. It wasn't a subject that usually came up in common conversation. It had always made her feel so, so ashamed, ashamed that there was nothing else that she could do. Ashamed that this was what it came down to.

"Fine," mumbled Hermione, " may I be excused?" Minerva nodded and Hermione retreated to the guest room. She wondered how on earth, the bat of the dungeons would be able to help her. What did he know? Everyone who had ever tried to help just made her feel worse. She quickly thought back to every new Einstein- therapist who thought that they were the first person to tell her that it wasn't a good thing to do. No duh? Why did they think that she was there, sitting in the chair across from them? To tell jokes? Thinking about their ignorance infuriated her. They had no clue what it was like, all they ever did was read textbooks.

"Hermione? May I come in?" Severus Snape asked in a kind voice. Hermione looked up to see her professor standing in the doorway looking at her. She shrugged, and he took that as a yes. He pulled up a chair from the other side of the room so that he could sit facing Hermione.

"I want to help you," he stated pulling up her chin, so that she was looking at him, " I don't want you to have to feel like hurting yourself is the only answer. Minerva wants to help you, but she just doesn't know how. I know what it's like to crave the relief that cutting brings, I know. I don't want you to have to know anymore."

"I just don't know what I would do without it," she blurted out brinigng her eyes to the floor, "it's the only thing that I've ever done. I can't just talk to people because I hate feeling like a burden, I don't want to keep them up at night with my petty problems. I don't want to stress them out worrying about me. This was the best way for me to deal with things, without raising any red flags or crying for help. It was quiet and secret."

"When did you start?"

"I was eight the first time. I remember that my mom had come home totally drunk and she just said terrible things to be. I remember that I had my fist clenched, and I drew blood from one of my palms. I felt really good. It was something different from the anger that I felt. After that I did it more and more. One afternoon, I found an Exacto knife in my dad's drawer. I used it that night, and have been since. It's just been something, that's always been there for me. It hasn't failed me yet, and I have a feeling that it never will. I just, I don't know," she looked up hopefully and relaxed a bit when she saw the look of understanding spreading across Severus' face.

"I want you to talk to me when you feel like hurting yourself. I'm not going to tell you to stop and set up an ultimatum. I don't want to scare you into recovery. I want you to want recovery, do you understand?" stated Snape. Hermione nodded. He left quietly and reminded her, that she was welcome at anytime to talk to him in his office. He emphasized anytime.

/

"How did it go?" asked Minerva, as soon as Severus emerged from the guest room.

"Fine," he replied, and without another word the swept out of her quarters. Minerva then went to her guest room to check on Hermione, and she found her on her bed, with her nose in a book.

"How did it go?" she asked again.

"Fine," Hermione replied casually, not even bothering to look up from her book.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note- Please Read**

Thank you all for the reviews, honestly, I know that I say it constantly but it is so true. I really appreciate them. I love you all, by the way, if any of you are wondering about Violet Tillyman, she was a witch who got lost in the Floo network, read about it on Pottermore, she is J.K.'s not mine, as are the rest of the characters and anything else that is hers.

/

"Where were you this morning Hermione, we didn't see you in the common room or breakfast," Ron asked as Hermione approached them at lunch.

"Oh, I just had a lie in and then studied in my dorm for the morning," Hermione lied hastily.

"We didn't see you last night either after you talked to McGonagall," Harry observed.

"I came back to the common room right before curfew, and then went straight to bed, you must not have seen me," Hermione explained, knowing full well that she spent the night in McGonagall's guest room. She was too afraid to tell her friends any of what had recently transpired, including her change in guardian.

"Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to have some lunch?" Ron said with a mouthful of ham sandwich. Hermione took this as her cue to sit down. She could feel that McGonagall was watching her, so she made a big deal of serving herself generous portions.

"What do you guys want to do today?" Harry inquired excited for the weekend.

"Well, I am aware that you two have an essay for Professor Flitwick on cheering charms that you haven't done yet, maybe you should do that," suggested Hermione.

"We could visit Hagrid," offered Ron.

"Yeah, let's go see Hagrid, we'll do our essays tomorrow," said Harry rising and turning to Hermione, " you will help us right?" She nodded. Outside it was a blustery day, but there were many students about. They neared Hagrid's cabin and could hear Fang barking, as soon as Hagrid opened the door, Fang burst out and bounded over to Hermione, and began to zealously lick her face. Harry and Ron had to pull him off of her so that she could enter the hut.

"He hasn't seen yer in a while, he's just a bit excited," said Hagrid, ushering them in, " want a cake, I baked 'em myself." He extended a platter. They all respectively declined, having experienced Hagrid's cooking skill, or lack thereof.

"So, what's new with yer?" Hagrid implored, "I only see yeh now at Care O' Magical Creatures, you never stop by. Oh, and Hermione, Professor Dumbledore told be about you and McGonagall, if there's anything I can do ter help, just let me know." Ron and Harry shot Hermione confused looks, but Hermione didn't miss a beat.

"That's very kind Hagrid, thank you, I'm alright though," Hermione responded casually.

"So uh, Hagrid, got any new creatures?" Ron asked, trying to awkwardly change the subject

"That reminds me, I wanted ter show yer before our next class," said Hagrid jumping up, "follow me." He led them out of the cabin and started into the Forbidden Forest.

"Hagrid, students aren't allowed in the forest," called Hermione, who stopped at the edge of the brush. However, Harry and Ron gladly followed Hagrid.

"Come on Hermione, it's fine!" Ron said looking back over his shoulder as he turned a corner in the path. Losing sight of him, Hermione made her choice and quickly followed. They only walked for a few minutes before they entered a clearing.

"Buckbeak, where are yeh?" Hagrid yelled. All of a sudden, the rustling of feathers could be heard, along with the patter of hooves. From the other side of the clearing, emerged a horse like creature, with the the front half of an eagle and the backside of a horse. It slowly flapped its wings as it came closer.

"He's a Hippogriff," said Hagrid fondly, "I got a whole herd to show the class. I just wanted you guys ter meet him first."

"Wow Hagrid, he's er really unique," ventured Harry, not really knowing what exactly to say.

"Isn't he beautiful," Hagrid beamed proudly, "well, best be going on, I have lots ter do." They left the forest quietly and when they got back to Hagrid's they wished him farewell. They made their way back to the castle, but were stopped in the entrance hall.

" , I need to speak with you about your last essay," Professor McGonagall exclaimed, as soon as he caught sight of the trio, "follow me to my office." She strode away briskly as she finished her sentence.

"Do you want us to come?" Harry asked exchanging a look with Ron. She shook her head and headed after her new guardian, they couldn't know, not yet.

Minerva was already sitting at her desk when she arrived.

"Sit down," she invited, "I am aware, that you would probably rather not return to your home, but we do need to collect your possessions from your home. Would you be willing to go to only collect your things. We will not have to see your mother and father."

"You'd go with me right?" Hermione wondered, concerned.

"Of course I would," she replied briskly.

" I think that'd be alright," Hermione said, trying to be brave.

"Very well then, I think it best that we get this done sooner than later. I had your home's fireplace connected to the floo network for this visit and this visit only," Minerva explained stepping over to her fireplace and grabbing a handful of powder, " I assume you have traveled by Floo before." Hermione nodded. She went first, at Minerva's urging and ended up exactly where she needed to go, Minerva sliding out of the fireplace moments later. Silently, Hermione gathered her various personal items from around the house. The last room that she cleaned was her own. She had left it for last, as she knew that it may prove difficult, she was dreading entering. She stood for a full minute with her hand on the handle, afraid to open it. When she did she stepped into the room of her childhood. The room where she had been hurt. She looked at the bed with disgust and shame, knowing exactly what had happened there. It filled her with such emotion that before she could start packing away any items she fell to the floor. Minerva, right behind her helped her onto a chair and held her.

"I'm here, you are safe," Minerva repeated these words over and over again in Hermione's ear. Minerva, with a wave of her wand, neatly packed up the room and brought Hermione back downstairs.

"I think it best we do side-along apparation, seeing as you are in no state to speak clearly, I don't want you to end up like Violet Tillyman," Minerva decided gripping Hermione very tightly, they apparated to Hogsmede. Together they walked up to the castle and Minerva brought Hermione to her guest room to rest and calm down. Once Hermione was alone, she tore the guest room apart, now filled with many of her possessions to find something to hurt herself with. Finding nothing better than a Muggle nail clipper she settled. She took the clipper in one hand and a fold of skin between the two blades. Slowly she forced down the lever. The mark it left was like a large obtuse triangle without the bottom, it oozed blood. Hermione did it again. And again. And again. Until there were no less than 15 little marks littering her arm. She quietly stowed the clipper away and did her best to clean up her arm. Pulling her sleeve down all the way hid the marks well. She now realized how tired she was and put her head down to rest, falling asleep within minutes.


End file.
